midnight post

Sunday May 23rd 2010 - 12:01 am

dear e-diary,
half of my heart wishes so much that my parents didnt make the choice for us to leave australia when i was younger but my trusty brother has made me realise that without this crucial event i would have never met my best friends.

i now go to high school in Brisbane Australia and the performing arts students put on a play last friday. my friends and i went to watch and support our other friends ..(miss n.abuke and mr delwood) .. our LITTLE STARS.. (thats the name of the musical) .. i have to stay i thoroughly enjoyed it and thought it to be .. wait for it... legend.... wait for it .. dary .. some boys looked dashing and girls beautiful .. the talent in our school ceases to amaze me

well, as you know, or know now.. i will summer in Bali, Indonesia with the bestest people i know.. soo to prepare for this EPIC journey and adventure .. a girls needs to indulge in a little retail therapy.. in the form of zimmermann bikini's and ksubi short shorts!! oh how i love ebay... the only problem is the sizes.. i dont get how people shop online... what if the clothes dont fit?.. well more on retail therapy, i have been semi-formal dress hunting and have found a dress i love love love.. its by oneteaspoon and retails for 250$ .. a bit over my budget but not as much as the ALICE + OLIVIA maggie dress that i want want want .. and which cost about $500 :( .. but if i get neither dress i will be rocking up in a sass & bide pink and black dress courtesy of my dear cousin vierra

with that i end and leave you till another day and another time
au revoir
N.Lee

new revelations and the emancipation

15th day of April in the year twenty10

i've been reading back through all my posts and i have realised that the things i have written have been very melodramatic and quite depressing. With all thats changed and submerged in confusion, i have forgotten or dismissed all the joyous occurrences in my life. I have been selfish and i have taken too many things for granted.

A couple of days ago i received a book that will be my english novel this term. Everyone said that, although easy, it was boring. with that i did not pay much attention to it. do u know how sometimes you read a book but have no interest and just scan the words but don't actually take in the story? thats what i was doing. But when i actually took the time to read it and really READ IT, i was amazed. it has taken my less then a day to finish reading it and the truth and morals in the book are so relatable its way better than chicken soup.

the book is called "LOOKING FOR ALIBRANDI" and i have fallen in love with it. although my problems are quite different from the heroine Josephine Alibrandi's situation, i could totally relate. We both are confused about where we belong in society. Am i Australian or Indonesia? we both expect too much from ourselves and both at times feel a need to break out but want to retain our innocence. We both feel an immense guilt for something small like ditching school.

Reading the book i felt like reading a different version of my life.

Josephine Alibrandi realises that the only reason she feels so much turmoil and sadness is because she has created the idea that everyone at her school does not respect her and think themselves superior to her, that she doesnt belong in the Australian society and she is an unfortunate but she realises that you shouldn't allow society's rule and regulations or anyone elses expectation of you to change what you want. At the end, although she has had her sights on being a barrister her whole life, she realised she doesnt know what she wants. I can relate to these in my own way and found the answers i need to unanswered questions i didnt know i had.

"For anyone confused about where they belong in a world that appears to be multicultural but does not know the meaning of the word, this is the perfect book."

i also learnt from this book that words arent just sticks and stones. They are knives and guns that cut and sting you at first but will one day create a whole in your heart.

Marchetta has created a beautifully written story that has touched on problems i have never read of before yet i think is relatable to every teenage girl in there own way.

I am touched by this book and have come to a better understanding of myself. I hope the next person who reads this book will think the same.

xoxo,

Nerdia

A Boy Like No Other

hey guyss!!

just wanna post a song that i wrote a couple of days ago!!

hope you like it!!

sorry my voice isnt magical..

A BOY LIKE NO OTHER

(by Nadia Lee)

xoxo

Nerdia

lazy sundays

a lazy sunday afternoon

is what everyone needs

so, i may have seemed a little melodramatic in my previous posts. m sooo sorryyy. the weathers got me down, thats all.

i shouldn't be complaining. i live in on of the world's greatest places to live.. BRISBANEE

today i had a pretty progressive day. i did some laundry, got my religion draft partly done and i covered a couple of my notebooks. other than that i have established "study sunday" with my beloved cousin Vierra. love her

In one of my previous posts i talked about not having a 16th birthday party. guess i was wrong. m thinkin of having it at this little restaurant called "the groove train" in the city. 10 of my new friends here in australia and me.

i am thoroughly excited of the breaking dawn ahead. i hope to establish my place in the complex social system that is HIGH SCHOOL!

by the way i'm gonna start keeping track of the movies i watch everyday on my blog so that i, myself can keep track of how bad my addiction to movies is. Here we go:

1. fired up

2.breakfas

t at tiffany's

3. starstruck

and thats all in the past 24 hours.. i know, i need a shrink.

booking the mental appointment now.

until the next time we meet,

Nerdia

xoxo

another saturday in the land of aus

14th day of march twenty10

in a land i used to call my home...

-things have changed

-people changed

-i feel like an outsider

-i miss the old days

-i spend $13 on movie tickets to see dear john

talking about the latter.. in these two weeks i have seen 2 movies

dear john and ALICE IN WONDERLAND. i watched alice today.. with a couple of friend, spent way to much on food (sushi twice in one day is yuk) and now i am writing this depressing blog from the confines of my cousins comfortable pad.

ALICE IN WONDERLAND THOUGHTS:

i don't know how i feel about the movie..

i did not think it lived up to its expectations but it isn't a bad movie

although there's no solid plot line.. tim burton make up for it in the graphics of the movie

if u like wacky films.. this is one to watch

MY THOUGHTS:

i dont know where my head is at.. my journey here is only the beginning..

being perceived as a "third wheel" by others is awfully unusual for me..

for the past 3 years i have been seen as the crazy bitch that would go up to anyone and say hello.. confidence in myself and my friends

a lesson be learnt by all:

when in doubt make sure you have your friends behind you.. it doesn't matter if they're close or far [geographically].. talking to them always re assures you that you are loved and wanted and sometimes..needed.

with that i leave you

xoxo

nerdia

my life sux

20th day of february twenty10

every girl dreams of her sweet 16..

some girls may never have one..

that girl is me

NO PLACE FOR ME

5th day of february 2010

a friday night.. i am at home.. i can't seem to make myself want to live in australia.. i know i am being impatient and i need to allow time to make a change but i cant

i dont belong here.. i thought i did but i'm not sure anymore.. the rules have changed. the people have changed.. the ones i used to be soo close too have become mere strangers to me.. classmates at best.. i expected too much and thus i am shattered

there's no place for me here .. i see the connections within the group that hav grown overtime.. i feel like a 3rd wheel in a group of many .. an unwanted guest who doesnt know when to leave.. i feel isolated

for a person who is afraid of change.. hu needs a sense of belonging to feel comfortable.. this has been one of the toughest two weeks of my life.. mentally.. on the outside i look happy but inside m depressed..

i want to feel the closeness they feel .. to find my place in a group so big.. i love indonesia becouse i had found my place.. where i didnt need to go walkin on my own at lunch to find a friend i know .. humiliating myself, or follow people around and look like a loser because i know no others.. i want to fit.. to contribute.. to feel cared for.. i want close friends

i want my former bestfriend to invite me too things like sleepovers and gossip girl marathons and say " come to the party it'll be fun" .. not " if u dont feel comfortable , dont go" .. it feels like a stab in the back. a signal saying " i dont want you here youre annoying" i wanted and expected her to care more.. to help me instead of being a bitch....

i feel lost and i need someone to pull me in

xoxo

nadia